Happy 4th of July!

Slipping Through The Cracks

I went for my third probation appointment recently.  This time is with a different officer.  Apparently my previous officer was no longer working in that office.  Now that I think about it, I am sure there is a great deal of turn over.  I can’t imagine that the job pays very well or that there is much gratitude.

She went over my case, just as the other had, asking the same questions & completely perplexed as to the amount of the fine ($1000.00) & the length of the probation (3 years).  When I explained the circumstances of the arrest & the media attention, she just shook her head.  Then, she started pointing at the folders on her desk.  I finished her thoughts in words, saying “Yeah, I know it’s a waste for me to be here.  However, if I wasn’t, you would not be able to take a break, by enjoying these yummy cookies with me!”  I then pulled out a bag of cookies from my bag.  She smiled & nodded.

It was then I realized she was in the latter stages of pregnancy.  She went on to explain that she was due in September & that I probably would not see her again.  Yes, ladies & gentlemen.  That means I have to go through the same process with another poor officer, along with my bag of cookies.  (The corset cookies were a big hit a few months ago.  Perhaps I will bring them next time.)

I mentioned that my last officer requested that I take a pee test every few months, without a specific timeframe involved.  She agreed, saying that I should take another one, when I visited in September.  That means it will be 8 months between pee tests.  It seems I have fallen through the cracks yet again.  Of course, it really doesn’t make any difference in my case, considering I do not take illegal drugs.  However, I wonder how many others in the system have fallen through the cracks too.

 

For those keeping track, there were only three people in the waiting room, with tattoos on their foreheads!

Tabu Swing/ Social Club

http://www.tabulife.com/index.html

TABU Social Club is a Private, Membership Social Club catering to mature, open-minded adults.

Membership is available to couples & single females ONLY.
    
TABU is the perfect place to meet other like-minded adults. We have gone to painstaking lengths to provide a clean, fun, safe environment for our members to socially interact.

TABU has been compared to a Very Upscale Martini Bar which lends itself to intimate conversation … BUT … Turn the corner and you enter an incredibly Hip Lounge with a HUGE 600 foot dance floor, Plush seating. 2 – 11 foot dance poles, a 7 foot dance cage and state of the art sound and light systems. Descend to the lower level and you’ll find 11 private VIP suites for you to enjoy some more quiet, intimate times and one Group area.

Do something for your man.

Middle Finger Tissue Paper
Ice Tray – Female
X Rated Coupon Booklet: 52 Weeks Of Romance

Make your man’s day in more ways than even he could ever imagine in his wildest fantasies. You don’t need a special occasion to let him know how much you care… why not do it today? Unleash his wild side (and yours) with this nifty little package of feel-good fun.

The big event will need a little advanced planning so be sure to open the ice tray and freeze up a pack of sexy iced hotties to cool his favorite drink. Wrap the thumbcuffs and coupon booklet in the adult wrapping paper (don’t worry, even HE will get the idea). Then, to top it all off, before he comes over, hang the door hanger on the door.

Not only will this guarantee the date starts with a laugh, but you will catch him completely off guard. Besides, there just might be the added bonus of your neighbors knowing exactly how lucky you are getting at that very moment!

Before he gets there, treat yourself to the luxury of a long, slow, steamy bubble bath to get yourself in the mood. Spritz on your sexiest body spray or perfume and take a little extra time to do your hair and add those little touches of makeup that play up the highlights in your eyes and the fullness of your lips. Even if you wouldn’t normally do the makeup thing, go for it, just for tonight… take a chance and see where it leads!

Come on, this is the time to unleash your inner slut… finally, greet him at the door wearing nothing but a smile, and hand him a glass of “special” ice and his favorite drink.

As he sits down to get comfortable, bring the gifts over and sit at his feet as he opens them… let him pick which to open first, while you open a very special gift of your own. Unzip his trousers and help him get “more comfortable.” Once he’s opened the coupon book, tell him to pick a coupon or two for the evening… anything he would like. If he needs any encouragement at this point, offer it with your lips, tongue and fingers. Don’t worry, you’ll have him drooling soon enough.

Then, when he opens the thumbcuffs, hold your hands up to him submissively and ask him to please put them on you for the rest of the evening. Give yourself up completely to his wildest ideas. Let your mind go, thinking of nothing but his deepest desires and the multitude of ways you can (and will) please this man of your dreams.

Use your mouth and tongue to please him in as many ways as you possibly can. Try some things you’ve never done before. Visualize all the ways you can bring him to ecstasy and then do each and every one of them. Make every second of the evening the very hottest, steamiest and sexiest night that you’ve ever shared with anyone. Leave all your inhibitions behind and allow yourself the luxury of getting wild and crazy.

Give him the night of his life, and rest assured that he will do the same for you!

My boyfriend & his other girlfriend broke up

My boy broke up with his other girlfriend recently.  Being polyamorous, I am completely accepting & appreciative of other sources of joy in his life.  In this case, I knew this relationship would not last long.  I even voiced my thoughts to my boy.  However, what attractive, middle aged man is going to say, “No”, to a 20-year-old girl?  The relationship lasted about a month & taught both of them a tremendous amount about each other & what they wanted in a partner.

In the end, it is definitely for the best, considering both I & my partner will be dealing with some major emotional stuff in this upcoming year.  I am pretty sure his other girlfriend would not be very helpful.  After all, when I was 20, I had difficulty focusing on anyone other than myself for more than a few hours.  I am sure the same is the case with most 20-year-olds.

I do believe they will eventually have a physical connection again.  I think she needs to go into the world & live a traditional lifestyle, before she can appreciate an alternative one.  Either way, she will always be appreciated for the joy she brought to my partner’s life, no matter how short the duration was.

Massage Party

I went to massage party recently with my boy, at the home of one of my girl crushes. I have been at massage parties before & love them, especially when the chemistry is right with everyone involved.

This party concept was apparently new to all the other people involved. I got that hint when, as we were sitting in the kitchen, over & over again they discussed the rules. After a long uncomfortable pause, I got up & said “Yipppeeeeee…Let’s get naked”, as I grabbed a bottle of wine & some glasses, heading downstairs.

When we got downstairs, people got into their little groups. My boy came with me, as did the hostess.  She apparently was a little uncomfortable with the dynamics of the other group, feeling that we would make her feel more comfortable.  I helped further in that endeavor, by stripping to a smile, as did the people in my group.

Our group had been together before, at least by way of hugs, friendship & camaraderie. As my boy would tell you, he & my girl crush are like two twelve-year-olds, when they are together.  They would probably pee on themselves, if someone had told a fart joke.  However, my boy has only admired her physically with his eyes.

On the other hand, I had specifically played with my girl crush.  She & I had a short lived physical relationship last year, only to flicker out, when other responsibilities & stresses came to our lives.

I went first.  As I lied down, my boy stayed at the base of feet, knowing I get gushy & mushy, when someone kneads them.  My girl crush, naked, with her boobs dangling in my face, stayed at my head.  From there, I guided her to all of my yummy points.

After about 15 minutes of pure bliss, we switched with my boy getting in the middle.  Because he of the masculine persuasion, his whole body is a g-spot.  Therefore, we did not have to concentrate in on one place.  He was perfectly happy to be the center of attention of two nekkid chicks, no matter what they were doing.

Finally, my girl crush went.  She lay down before us, as though she was on an altar, stretched out like a cat.  I stayed at her feet, with my boy at her head.  We rhythmically began to massage her, starting at the two most distant points & slowing moving towards her center, eventually ending up just above her pelvic bone.

I am pretty sure the other group had a difficulty completing their massages, considering they stared at us in envy the entire time.  Our last pose, was the three of us sitting in each other’s laps, like a sandwich, with my girl crush in the middle, smiling & enjoying our energy.

Worst pick-up line EVER…

“wanna get together? i hate myself and my life so youd be perfect for me”

 wtf?!

The Palace of Wonders

The Palace of Wonders of one of my favorite places, with of course my favorite bartender, Katie.  Although they do have different events, such as MAGIC MONDAYS! & ROOTS & REGGAE SOUND CLASH, my favorite events are always the Burlesque shows, by different traveling troops.

WELCOME TO THE PALACE OF WONDERS! THE ONLY VAUDEVILLE STAGE, MUSEUM OF ODDITIES & FULL BAR IN THE WORLD! NOW OPEN EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK!!!

*** NEW HEATED PATIO & FREE WIRELESS INTERNET!!! ***

Located along the H Street Corridor known as the Atlas District in the nation’s capitol at 1210 H St. NE Washington, DC 20002 202.398.SHOW(7469)

*Must be 21 years or older with proper Identification unless otherwise noted in show listing.

THIS IS THE MAIN SITE FOR THE BAR & STAGE SHOWS

FOR PALACE OF WONDERS MUSEUM NEWS: www.palaceofwonders.org

ABOUT THE PALACE- We have 2 floors over-flowing with an eye-popping array of oddities, specimens, artifacts and homages to the great dime museums of the past. With a view of our intimate vaudeville stage from both floors, the Palace has the most astounding live burlesque, sideshow and vaudeville shows every week with stunts shows& magic shows, dancing girls, sideshow, aerialist & contortionists and the list goes on. Check out our calendar of events! This is THE premiere venue in Washington, DC for the quirkiest variety entertainment!

SHOW INFORMATION- Shows are all general admission. Get there early to guarantee a good seat. CASH ONLY for all shows payable at the door. ALL SHOWS ARE 21+, unless otherwise noted. Street parking is available.

HAPPY HOUR – Every Monday-Friday from 6:00-8:00 PM. $3.00 domestic beers & rail drinks!

WE DO WEDDINGS! Services provided by our very own James Talyor. Catering and entertainment available. Have a wedding the Shocks & Amazes everyone! Also available, impersonator weddings. Ever wanted to get married by Elvis but can’t get the whole family to Vegas? Well now you can get married by the King right here in the Nation’s Capitol!

We are also available for HOLIDAY and PRIVATE parties! Inquire at: ambassador@palaceofwonders.com

Dark Odyssey Leather Retreat: June 24-29, 2009

Dark Odyssey produces three events a year: Winter Fire, Leather Retreat, and Summer Camp. As a community, Dark Odyssey is a melting pot of diverse identities and interests that welcomes people of all genders, sexual orientations, and perversions. Dark Odyssey is a wholly unique experience which brings together sexuality, spirituality, education, and play in a fun, supportive, non-judgmental environment where fantasy becomes reality. Dark Odyssey events immerse you in an atmosphere of sexual energy and experimentation that will add excitement and passion to your relationships and create deeper levels of connection between you and your partners.

We hold Dark Odyssey: Leather Retreat on a 200 acre retreat facility in Northern Maryland. The place started life as a kids’ summer camp but now hosts adult events, nudists, music festivals, and even the occasional band camp. Since we aren’t competing with the kids for prime time, our event happens the last weekend of June after schools are out, graduation ceremonies are over, and the weather has warmed up. It really is a summer vacation … a kinky, sexy, unbelievable vacation.

Unlike a big hotel event, the owners of our camp allow us to do just about anything (legal) we want (that’s safe, sane and consensual, of course). The camp staff has been around this stuff for years, so no one will blink at anything you do. This is the big difference between our Winter Fire Hotel Event and Leather Retreat. At camp, we have freedom and privacy. We give up a cushy hotel room in exchange for being able to really live out our fantasies, unencumbered for six straight days!

Leather Retreat is an all inclusive vacation. We feed you three meals a day plus a midnight snack. You’ll stay with a bunch of your friends (or make new
ones) in one of our 40 cabins, each with real beds, full bathrooms and electricity for all your toys. The big gym in converted into our main dungeon, the barn and pavilion into smaller themed play spaces. There is Sex-O-Rama, the Pamporium, the fire pit and a great pool located at Headquarters, right in the center of camp. We even run a fleet of golf cart taxis, mainly because its fun to drive golf carts around, so sign up to drive the topless taxi.

We welcome everyone at Dark Odyssey – straight, bi, queer, genderqueer, and transgendered. We are a truly multi-gendered, multi-sexual community that runs the gamut, from singles and couples, to veterans and newbies, to monogamous duos and polyamorous folks. We are sex-positive with interests as diverse as BDSM, swinging, Tantra, sacred sexuality, Paganism, crossdressing, and sexual adventure. We appreciate that everyone has their own fetishes, kinks, and turn-ons, and we want to make room for them all. We strive to create an open, tolerant, non-judgmental environment with top-notch play spaces, creative amenities, and inspiring events so that people can have a truly immersive experience. Our goal is to build a magical place where you can live out your wildest fantasies and dreams.

Oh and don’t worry if this is your first time…We love virgins! We have lots of activities to help you break the ice. On your second day, you’ll fall into the routine and by the third, you’ll be helping (and checking out) the new arrivals. By the end of the week, you’ll have made a ton of new friends and will be planning that big scene you want to do next year.

Don’t miss out on the best BDSM and sex vacation of your life!

Whores Amongst Us

The whores in my former life have been coming out of the woodwork in the past few days. Recently, I was at Giant shopping late at night, when low & behold, I turned around and there was Jayla Moore (http://www.yourebonymuse.com), leaning over the hot dogs and discussing the price with her companion.  (Super cute short curly hair, by the way) I immediately left my cart and headed for the exit, wanting nothing to do with anyone still in the business. You would have thought my arrest would have given her a clue about her future, considering she, with her full legal name, where mentioned in my arrest report.  I do believe she is intelligent enough to survive outside of the sex industry.  Perhaps not focused enough, but definitely intelligent enough.

In addition, my boy received an email from a group of whores announcing a play party. He giggled, when it occurred to him that they were the same whores who have been putting on the same play parties for years. I told him he should go and enjoy himself.

I always believe in signs from the universe. I am not sure what these signs mean. I want to stay as far away from that world as possible. Perhaps it’s just a reminder than I need to take my pee test!